


saudade

by strategists



Category: UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Exes with Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 08:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20579696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strategists/pseuds/strategists
Summary: seungyoun was always one to play with fire.





	saudade

**Author's Note:**

> hi! first work on this account. i've been itching to write a full-blown seungseok fic but i don't really have the time to do so because of school. sooo, here's a remix of a fic i posted in another fandom. i added some details to make it a bit more cohesive!
> 
> extremely short and kind of bittersweet but i do hope you enjoy it all the same :)

it's dangerous this game they caught themselves in.

this constant back and forth of closing and reopening wounds. this building and burning of bridges underneath the warmth of rumpled sheets and tendrils of moonlight through half-opened blinds.

seungyoun knows this deep in his heart, or what’s left of it, rather. it’s what plagues his mind as he lays in bed, comforter barely covering his torso. the cold night breeze kisses the bruises blooming on his skin. it triggers the onslaught of what-ifs and if-onlys; thoughts he would never entertain in the light of day for every single one leaves an acrid taste on his tongue and a knot in the pit of his stomach. 

it’s wrong what they’re doing but seungyoun can’t help but disregard any and all repercussions when he twists in bed, hooded eyes locking on to the lithe body sleeping soundly next to him. the best kind of tired pulling on the smaller male's features. his breaths come out in even puffs. crimson and blue leave trails on his arms, lips, chest, and wrists; marks branding him as seungyoun’s just for the night.

when wooseok is sleeping like this, head finding purchase beneath his chin, kiss swollen lips brushing ever so often on his collar bones, and a curled fist rising and falling in synch with his every breath, seungyoun can pretend that all is well — wooseok is still his and he wooseok’s.

and pretend he does.

he wraps a careful arm over the smaller male, pulling him impossibly closer, skin meeting skin. 

it burns seungyoun in the worst way.

contact like this is different when they’re at the mercy of their carnal desires — when seungyoun has wooseok’s neck in his palm. when he has him underneath, breaths coming out in sharp intakes, fingernails digging deep into his back making blood break through the delicate flesh.

it’s different from when wooseok gets overwhelmed, and buries his face into the crook of seungyoun’s neck and the latter grips him by the head ever so gently to keep it in place.

it’s all different when there’s no haze of lust clouding his mind because now, it’s him, all him. and yet he takes the burn, holding on to wooseok because he’s selfish, and maybe just a bit desperate, that way.

the night falls away gradually. seconds, minutes, and hours feeling like eternities and yet too short.

as midnight slowly melts into dawn, seungyoun basks in the feel of him. the scent of him. he keeps wooseok in his hold, counting the marks on his neck as he would with the infinite stars dotting the sky.

seungyoun indulges, tracing the delicate arch of wooseok's back, up the outline of his spine before cupping his neck. he leaves kisses to the crown of his head; each press holding a message that might never reach his ears.

and just before the first rays peek into the room, seungyoun whispers _i love you still_. the words painfully gripping on his throat, almost like a vice, yet falls from his lips with ease. as if it was said out of habit.

and maybe it was.

he slips away from the intoxicating warmth, tucks the what-ifs and the if-onlys into the crevices of his mind, and burns the bridge before it collapses from the weak foundations. 

he gathers his clothes, and leaves without looking back.

at least that was the plan, but seungyoun was always one to play with fire.

now dressed, he stands beside the bed. gently, he caresses wooseok's face. the latter's features contorts from the movement before relaxing into the hand as if he knew it was seungyoun.

seungyoun's heart clenches terribly in his chest.

_i love you still_. he repeats into the quiet. his hand falls away, and a part of him does too.

and just like that, he's gone.

had seungyoun stayed just a second longer, he would’ve seen the way wooseok sits up, lip catching on his teeth, and heart growing heavy as he chokes on the words _don’t go_.

**Author's Note:**

> til the next one! - j


End file.
